Liberty & Justice For All??
July 4th, 2021
For one, maybe it’s a few days too late to still be posting this, but also, maybe we should keep having conversations all year round instead of just when it’s trendy?? (I don’t know, I think I’m just trying to make a profound excuse when in reality I’m in full time classes + working 3 jobs so the time simply got away from me…) Anywho. The last few years I’ve been far less enthused to celebrate the Fourth of July than I used to be as a kid. Although to be fair, as a kid I romanticized the heck out of it & always expected it to pan out like a Mary Kate & Ashley movie: where was the cute new boy in town I’d meet at a BBQ and then have a cute, flirty *summer fling* with that would change my life at the MaTuRe age of 12?! (But lesbehonest, I still want that… where you at cute human bound to ✨change my life✨?!) Yeah no, I’m talking bout the disillusionment I’ve had with America over the last few years. Growing up I really did think everyone was free and equal. Seriously. Wowowowow I was privileged! 🙈🙉🙊Yes, privileged. I think a lot of people’s feathers still get ruffled over that word. I’ve realized though that a lot of the same people who get bothered by “privilege” have no problem with “gratitude” and have probably thrown “count your blessings” around like confetti. In my interpretation, a blessing is a gift that you are not entitled to. And so is privilege. So then… what is it about “privilege” when it comes to discussions about race especially, as well as gender & sexuality that gets so triggering? Is it guilt? Is it fear?
This morning I listened to Brené Brown’s ‘Dare To Lead’ podcast where she discusses the “Dangers of Toxic Positivity” with Dr. Susan David. It is an absolutely fantastic conversation and I HIGHLY recommend you give it a listen (I’ll link it below)! They discuss how ill-equipped so many of us are to deal with emotions and how society in general has perpetuated this ideology that we MUST be happy and good and positive 24/7. Even when we express to others that we are feeling sad or angry or anxious, so often the response will be to think about everything we’re grateful for instead. As well meaning as this is, and I have 100% given this same advice to others & tried to practice it myself, it’s still a bit dismissive & not properly acknowledging the emotion that we’re experiencing. Rather than sitting with the discomfort of someone else’s pain (or our own), we dismiss it and say to focus on something else instead. Essentially we are gaslighting each other and communicating, “my comfort is more important than your reality.” If we’re doing this so innocently and subconsciously to ourselves & people we care about, if we’re unable to properly identify what an emotion is & be okay with sitting in that discomfort, how on earth are we supposed to be equipped to deal with injustice??
America IS a great country to live in/have randomly been born into. We DO have a lot of freedoms that many other countries don’t have. And I am SO thankful I could afford to spend the holiday weekend taking off work & visiting my family. That can be true & I can be so grateful, AND I can acknowledge my privilege & recognize how far we still have to go. Acknowledging someone else’s needs, and I mean truly listening & taking action to remedy, does not discredit my own different needs. We are a massive & beautifully diverse nation with thousands of different experiences & realities! But we’re pigeon-holing ourselves into this “us versus them” two-party system and it breaks my heart. I don’t think a single person, American or observing from afar, will deny how divided the USA is & how that divide seems to grow deeper with every passing year. If we can’t even have a conversation about opposing viewpoints without immediately getting defensive or condescending or shutting down from the weight of it all, maybe we need to look at what those emotional responses are telling us. Is our comfort more important than someone else’s reality?? Are we misinterpreting our own discomfort with change as an attack on our character & our beliefs?? Is our level of attachment to a political party so high that it’s drowning out our capacity for connection & empathy & growth?? Is this all stemming from our own individual struggle to deal with emotions truthfully??
These are all massive ideas a part of a hugely difficult conversation. I don’t pretend to have it all sorted it out. I screw up all the time & I have a lot to learn. But I hope to continue fostering a safe place to challenge our norms, understand injustice so we can ferociously fight it together and work towards an America that is actually free & safe & equal for ALL.
💙